Little Foxes 

Part One: unappreciated November 1, 2026 

Vineyards in the Middle East require extensive watering, pruning, and protection.  Even vineyards surrounded by rock fences were vulnerable to weather, insects, and wild animals.  One of the most destructive wild animals was little foxes.  Mature foxes would jump over a rock wall, eat a cluster of grapes, and leave the grapevines unharmed.  But young foxes would dig under the rock wall and chew through the stalk to bring the grape clusters down to them.  Little foxes can do great harm to a vineyard.   

In the second chapter of Song of Solomon, Solomon’s young bride-to-be uses a blossoming vineyard as a metaphor for their blossoming love and urges him to “catch" and remove anything that could damage their relationship. 

“Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!” (Song of Solomon 2:15, NLT)  

This November, I’m going to show you some small things that can seriously damage your valuable relationships, and how to remove them.   

Little Fox #1: Unappreciated 

Relationships are like vineyards; they need constant care.  You cannot form a relationship and sit back, expecting it to flourish on its own.  Like vineyards, relationships need watering, weeding, fertilizing, and protection to stay healthy and fruitful.     

• Relationships fail when someone feels unappreciated. 

Now, I am not talking about someone who feels unappreciated because they are too needy and want constant praise for everything they do.  I’m talking about someone who isn't getting the attention, love, and respect they deserve.  I mean a husband or wife, a parent or child, or a friend who is being taken for granted.   This is why… 

• In Matthew 22, Jesus tells us how people want to be loved. 

But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees with his reply, they met together to question him again.  One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.  The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”  (Matthew 22:34–40, NLT)  

How do husbands and wives want to be loved?  They want to be loved the same way they love themselves (Eph. 5:21-33).  “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33, NLT)  

A marriage fails when a husband and/or wife stop loving like they want to be loved.  The same principle applies to parents, siblings, and friends.  Relationships fail when someone feels unappreciated.  And… 

• People who feel unappreciated search for someone who will show them love. 

He (Jesus) had to go through Samaria on the way.  Eventually he came to the Samaritan village of Sychar, near the field that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.  Jacob’s well was there; and Jesus, tired from the long walk, sat wearily beside the well about noontime.  Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.”  He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food.  The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans.   

She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman.  Why are you asking me for a drink?”   

Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”   

“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep.  Where would you get this living water?  And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well?  How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”   

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again.  But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.  It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”   

“Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.”   

“Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.  “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.   

Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now.  You certainly spoke the truth!”  (John 4:4–18, NLT)  

The woman at the well did not set out to be married five times.  But her search for love led her from one bad relationship to the next.  Sadly, many people today are like the woman at the well, jumping from one relationship to another as they try to find someone who will love them.  

What should you do if you feel unappreciated in a relationship? 

1. Communicate your feelings. 

Bring up the issue with the person who isn't valuing you.  Tell them how you feel and what you need from them to feel loved.  Clearly state what would make you feel valued, whether it is verbal recognition, help with daily tasks, or dedicated quality time.  

2.  Love others as you want to be loved. 

Show others how to appreciate people and give them the love and respect they desire.  Carry out the 2nd Great Commandment and challenge others to do likewise.  Show love to others and ask for love in return. 

3.  Remember that God loves and values you. 

In his best-selling book, The Search for Significance, Robert S. McGee talks about finding one’s significance (value) in God rather than in people’s opinions.  Most of our worth should come from God, not from people.