FAMILY MATTERS 

Part Seven: disciplining kids July 19, 2026 

Last Sunday, I said no one begins parenthood as a pro; everyone begins parenting as a rookie.  Every dad must learn how to be a good father, and every mom must learn how to be a good mother.  Then, I began teaching you… 

The Three Expectations of Parenting: 

Expectation #1: God expects parents to direct their children. 

The Bible teaches that parents have the right and responsibility to teach their children to live properly, and it commands children to obey their parents’ instruction.   

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” (Proverbs 22:6, NLT)  

“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.  Honor your father and mother.  This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.  Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”   (Ephesians 6:1–4, NLT)  

Expectation #2: God expects parents to make the rules for the household. 

Children hate rules, but rules serve five important purposes:  

1.  Rules teach children what they are responsible for and what they are not (property lines).   

2.  Rules guide children where they need to go (road lines).   

3.  Rules help children avoid pain (warning labels).   

4.  Rules teach children how to love God and others (Matthew 22:34-40).   

5.  Rules teach children the law of sowing and reaping (Galatians 6:7). 

Parents should get most of their household rules from the Bible – God’s written word.  The Bible contains hundreds of good guidelines and clear commands to help parents govern their kids.   

Some things to remember as you make rules for your kids: 

• Your rules must be reasonable. 

Unreasonable rules frustrate children and make them rebel against your leadership.   

“Fathers, do not provoke (frustrate) your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”  (Ephesians 6:4, NLT)  

• Your rules must be strong enough to protect your kids. 

Most parents worry that their rules are too strict, but children are vulnerable and need rules to protect them from people, places, and things that can hurt them.   

“My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life.  I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths.  When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble.  Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go.  Guard them, for they are the key to life.  Don’t do as the wicked do, and don’t follow the path of evildoers.  Don’t even think about it; don’t go that way.  Turn away and keep moving.  My child, pay attention to what I say.  Listen carefully to my words.  Don’t lose sight of them.  Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.  Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”  (Prov. 4:10–15, 20-23, NLT)  

• Your rules must have penalties attached to them. 

Parents, every rule you make must have a penalty attached to it, because a rule without a penalty is about as scary as a guard dog without any teeth.   Your kids need to believe that something bad will happen if they break your rules.   

Expectation #3: God expects parents to enforce their rules. 

Children hate discipline, but discipline serves four important purposes: 

1.  Discipline puts a child back on the right path.   

“A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.” (Proverbs 22:15, NLT)  

2.  Discipline teaches a child to obey their parents (Colossians 3:20).   

3.  Discipline demonstrates love.   

“Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.  Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”  (Proverbs 13:24, NLT) 

4.  Discipline brings peace to your household. 

“Foolish children bring grief to their father and bitterness to the one who gave them birth.” (Proverbs 17:25 NLT) 

“To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.  When the wicked are in authority, sin flourishes, but the godly will live to see their downfall.  Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.”  (Proverbs 29:15–17, NLT)  

Three steps for disciplining your children: 

Step #1: Sit down with your child and clearly explain to them why they are being punished.   

Step #2: Choose a form of discipline that is appropriate for your child. 

Children learn through reward and pain.  You reward your children when they follow your rules, and you make them feel pain/loss when they disobey your rules.  It is your job as a parent to teach your children the universal law of sowing and reaping before they become adults.   

Step #3: Carry out discipline respectfully and in love. 

Discipline without love will frustrate your child and drive them away.  Likewise, discipline carried out disrespectfully will hurt your child’s self-esteem.  Never discipline your child in public or when you are really angry.